Here & There

December 06, 2010

I don't like Mondays

Who would've thought that scanning things to the computer takes aaaaaages.
Anyways, had another bad start in the week and I came to the conclusion that little things such as a watch can actually destine your future!
Well, okay, that was too exaggerated BUT what I was actually getting at was that if I had only a watch during the exam, I wouldnt have had any problems finishing it. Not at all -.-'' Well, what's there to do now?! I'm sooo bummed out. It seems like all the exams I do, well most of them, are completely DUNZO!
But even more than that, I'm tortured by F E A R S.
Fears of not even making it to the Matura, meaning not even making the 5th grade -.-'
I mean, I don't lack the chances of doing it better if its not gonna work out at the end of the year, but then again, who wants the extra stress?
Taking steps further just give me the creeps and knowing what's ahead of me that can totally fail totally, totally just freezes me inside.
Well, I talked to my mum and she was like 'See your journey as a climb on a mountain. You're already on the top and you're only missing a couple of metres till you've finally reached the peak. You know that you hardly have any oxygen anymore but still, you keep on going. Therefore the only thing that matters is reaching the top, which there for is the end result, the matura.'
And yeah, Mum is right =D It might matter for others how well they do during the school year and I care too but I can't put my energy into something like this. I am struggling, no doubt and I guess from that point on it's pretty much just keep on going and never stop. If it's Gods plan that I fail, then I will but of course, with a deeper pourpose in it. Though I THINK that God is testing me. I bet he wants me to solve things on my own because He knows that I can do it. So therefore, I only need COURAGE COURAGE COURAGE and bunches of LOVE LOVE LOVE and lots of HUGS and people who tell me that everything will work out fine!

=] <3 dont forget to smile.
Ezzy

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