PERSONAL: FERNWEH

Picture: http://thedecemberissue.tumblr.com/post/4697801505 

Die letzen paar Wochen waren so ziemlich ein auf und ab der Gefühle. Es waren Tage, in denen ich von Angst geplagt wurde und in denen meine Gedanken einfach Dinge schwer abschütteln konnte. It was a mind-thing und ich habe Stärke bewiesen, da diese Tage jetzt endlich vorbei sind. Nach der Angst steht jedoch der Zweifel ganz groß auf meiner Stirn geschrieben. Zweifel an allem was ich tue, denke, fühle. Der Zweifel verfolgt mich bereits eine ganze Weile. Mal war er in meinem Unterbewusstsein, mal ist er kurz erschienen und war dann wieder weg, aber in letzter Zeit lässt er einfach nicht locker. Früher habe ich gerne an alte Zeiten gedacht, reflektiert wie ich mich früher gefühlt habe und ebenso nachgedacht, wie die Situation jetzt aussieht. Nur zu meinem Bedauern kann ich nicht mehr auf diese Art reflektieren, denn sobald ich dies tue, dreht sich alles um Dinge, die mir und meinem Herz nicht gut tun. Aus diesem Grund vermeide ich meine romatische Art und versuche mich umso mehr anderswertig zu beschäftigen. Es sind in den zwei Jahren so viele Dinge passiert, die ich anscheinend nicht richtig verdaut habe. Vielleicht bin ich auch einfach in meiner Traumwelt gewesen und musste mit einem Schlag ins Gesicht der Realität ins Gesicht blicken. Es gibt so viele Dinge von denen ich schwärme und man sagt mir, dass ich diese Dinge mit der Zeit bekomme/erreiche, doch ich bezweifle dies. Vielleicht wurde ich in letzter Zeit auch einfach zu oft enttäuscht und komme mit den Enttäuschungen nicht richtig klar - ich weiß es nicht. 
Jedenfalls klingt es zwar sehr danach, mich vor meinen Problemen zu verstecken, aber ich würde nichts Anderes machen und meine Sachen packen und irgendwo hinfliegen oder hinfahren wo die Leute mich so hinnehmen wie ich bin, keine Erwartungen vor mir haben, mich inspirieren und mich einfach auf einem Weg begleiten, den ich derzeit brauche. Fernweh habe ich demnach schon sehr lange. Einfach raus aus der schnellen Stadt, raus aus den Bekanntschaftsräumen, einfach raus und in Ruhe meine Gedanken wieder schlichten. Natürlich würde ich zurückkommen, das ist keine Frage, denn ich weiß, dass mich der Heimweh dann wieder plagen wird. Aber derzeit ist so eine kleine Reise ein Luxus und deswegen muss ich eben das hinnehmen, was ich gerade habe und zusehen, dass ich auch so klarkommen kann.

=] <3 don't forget to smile.
Ezzy

Questions For My Future Love by THOUGHT CATALOG

It is true, I have been in a mushy mood lately but I guess this article helps a lot before committing to someone and trying to make it work regardless. I hope it is relateable as well as enjoyable ;)

Questions For My Future Love

JUN. 8, 2012

By MILA JARONIEC

Is your heart open? Do you know I’m a new person, you’re a new person and there’s no point of comparison between who we are and who you were? Does knowing that make you feel better or worse? Do you feel stable or unsteady? You’ve never done this before. We’ve never done this before. Are you ready?

Are you going to support me when sh-t gets crazy? Are you going to be there for my rejections, my existential freakouts, my moments of self-doubt that rise and fall with every ignored manuscript and unanswered email? Do you know when to give advice and when to shut up? Do you have a good grasp on the proper way to do both? Do you know I exaggerate, get tunnel vision, self-medicate when things aren’t going well? Do you know what not to take personally? Do you know when to call me out on my bullsh-t?

Do you think you can handle my family? It’s not easy, but they’re not going anywhere so are you willing to learn? Can you handle uncomfortable questions and disapproving looks from time to time? Can you deal with the occasional backhanded compliment? Are you able to smile and nod while my mother shows you the proper way to weed a garden, even if you have an apartment? Do you know how to be respectful even when you don’t agree? Do you know my family is important to me? Are you going to make me choose?

Do you know what you’re doing, like what you’re actually doing? Are you independent, or are you going to make me mother you, carry you, because it’s more comfortable that way? Do you expect us to just “work out” in some magical way without thinking it through? Do you think all our latent problems will be solved by you getting down on one knee? Do you know the idea of marriage makes me feel claustrophobic? Do you know that when I say “yes,” I want to be absolutely sure? Do you realize there’s no guarantee that will happen?

 Do you have a job? A life? Do you have something you’re passionate about, something that keeps you up at night, something that isn’t me? Or do you just want me — want us and nothing else? Do you expect me to be the center of your universe or do you know the balance? I can’t be the center of your universe, that’s way too much pressure and I will disappoint you. Do you understand that there will be times I will disappoint you?

You need alone time too, right? Are you going to let me have my alone time without getting weird? Do you have any friends actually? Are there people you genuinely enjoy spending time with, people who make you see the world a little differently? Do you have a working sense of humor? Do you know that sometimes things don’t make any sense at all? Is that okay?

Do you have a philosophy? Do you believe in things? Do you understand believing isn’t knowing? Do you define yourself by what you embrace or by what you reject? Do you take the time to learn before passing judgment? Do you realize how completely absurd everything is? Does that upset you? Do you care?

Are you willing to try with me? Are you willing to throw your heart in full speed? Are you willing to cut the cord when you know it’s not working, or are you going to push to the very end and make me be the one to say what’s on both our minds? Are you going to be honest with yourself about what you want? Are you going to be honest with me about what you need and when you’re not getting it? Are you willing to be honest?

=] <3 don't forget to smile.
Ezzy

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=] <3 don't forget to smile. Ezzy

SISTERHOOD: PROTECTING OUR HEARTS

You guys may have noticed that I am an avid blog reader and sometimes when the mood feels right, I research different topics. This time I have come across this topic which doesn't seem to be important for single ladies out there but in one point of your life, it will. Love doesn't start when you and a guy are officially together, no, love starts way before and that's why in order not to be crushed when something that seems like a fairy tale finds its end, you have to be prepared with the right words and the right attitude. Ladies, just give it a shot and read this great article with short tipps, I found.

FICTION AND NON-FICTION COUPLES I ADORE: #2 Aria and Ezra

As you may have noticed I am a PLL fan and if you may asked whether I have already watched the latest episode, you can be sure I have. I have decided on this couple because they are my favourite. Although their situation is somewhere in the grey spot, I think they are a very strong couple and handle situations together. You just can't help but notice how much they want to be together regardless the hard circumstances they always fall into. So yeah, I admit, it is a bit relatable! 

  http://lucyandianezriaandlucian.tumblr.com/post/15371769631 

  http://www.google.it/imgres?q=ezria+moments&start=138&um=1&hl=de&rlz=1C1SVE

http://boldbrightpastel.tumblr.com/post/17233450662/i-n-s-0-m-n-i-a-a-lefindbreg8hes

http://lucyandianezriaandlucian.tumblr.com/post/15906255490

http://how-did-it-all-happen.tumblr.com/post/22090199117 

http://keepthisworldalive.tumblr.com/post/20685608288 

http://lovequotesrus.tumblr.com/post/22807069343

http://deborarte.blogspot.com.es/2011/08/lo-mejor-y-lo-peor-de-pretty-little_19.html  

LADIES

It's good to keep in mind where you are coming from and where your heart should be placed, which shouldn't be stolen from a guy who doesn't have your best interest at heart.

Picture: John Kennet Panti; Font Edits: ezzycupcake

=] <3 don't forget to smile.

Ezzy

UHH AHA AHA, TELL ME AHA AHA

BELATED HAPPY 1st JUNE, EVERYBODY

Do not ask my why I am stoked about June! I just felt like celebrating this day a bit! Summer break is only a month away now... I hope I don't screw up.

=] <3 don't forget to smile.

Ezzy