2013, YOU SON OF A *PEEP*

Picture: http://imgfave.com/view/4291795

It's 31.12.13, which means it's the end of the year and everyone is highly anticipating the new year. Reflecting on the past year, all I can say is, that it was tough. It wasn't only tough for me but also for my family, friends and loved ones. A lot of tragedies, disappointments and mistakes happened within the Year of Faith, nevertheless, these challenges helped me to get to know myself better and somehow made me also grow as a person. Yes, I've had enough times this year where all I asked myself was 'When is this year finally over?' and now I find myself being a bit nervous about what the new year has to bring. I really do hope that 2014 will be a year of miracles. I kinda need a lot of that, to be honest :P

What I've learnt from the year 2013 is that prayers will be heard, changes are hard but inevitable and that family is everything. I'm not really going after the 'new year, new me' saying because I don't want a new self. I want an improved and better self who has grown out of the wounds, hurts and disappointments. Life won't get any easier so I might as well just learn how to persevere and deal with whatever life throws at me. I've also learnt that your passions can sometimes be misleading when you don't listen or respond to the red flags. Energy saving mode is something I'll try to pull through when it comes to dealing with difficult situations in the new year. To get to the point, I won't be putting my energy into something I can neither control nor change. I've given a lot of lessons this year, that when the big Man up there doesn't want things to happen and you're not obedient, he'll give you a heck of a lesson for you to finally get Him. 

With all the plans I have in 2014, I can only be excited. I'm happy that I was able to go on missions a lot this year. It made me appreciate the community even more. I want to thank all my friends who have stuck with me another year, I want to thank my family that still loves me despite the hurts I've put them through and finally, I want to thank you my readers. Never have I felt so much love for my writing through my readers! I know, I say this at the end of every year, BUT, I'm not giving up on this blog or on my writing and I really want to try to make it up to you and be better at updating. You inspire me!

Lastly, to everyone who I hurt this year, I'm forever sorry, you can bet on that!

HAVE A GREAT NEW YEAR! 

GUTEN RUTSCH! 

COME AT US 2014!

SO THIS IS CHRISTMAS

I hope you had a blessed Christmas celebration with your families! Here is just a little reminder of what Christmas really is about - the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ! Wish you all happy holidays!!!

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THANKS IG, YOU MADE ME REALISE I DON'T FIT IN

Picture: https://31.media.tumblr.com/2c2f1446f8ae7fbc507b86a46dbfe1e1/tumblr_mxkcgqOTxO1req6ngo1_500.jpg

I've been contemplating a lot about deleting certain Apps on my phone. I've even been contemplating about avoiding Facebook 'til the end of the year. Why? Because these social networking sites give me a negative vibe. Why? Because I don't agree with most things I see on there. Why? Because they make me insecure. I start to envy the people on the pictures and I simply end up pitying myself because basically everyone around me is too darn 'cool' for me. 

Just by looking at people's pictures on their IG, I often find myself thinking 'Oh boy, is this how you're supposed to be nowadays? Is this how you should live today?' From selfies, over to parties up until alcoholic beverages, that's what most people I follow post these days. It kinda portrays everything that the world loves to see. Everything that society is okay with, everything that society wants to see and feels. Is that how my lifestyle should be in order to fit in? Should I be taking a dozen of selfies a day just to prove everyone I'm a girl who is confident? Should I be taking pictures of my new coppings just to let everyone else know that I've got that style and that taste? Are my group of friends cool enough and have that great style to post a picture with them? Is this party IG-worthy? Will the people be impressed by this because I'm having such an extravagant dinner? How many likes will I get on this picture? Just so I can assess my worth on Social Media. 

It's amazing how pictures can be so deceiving. It's amazing how pictures can make you feel emotions that shouldn't be felt in the first place. When I look at certain profiles I sometimes think to myself, how on Earth would I fit in this society? Nothing I ever see is me or could represent my personality. It saddens me a lot to find myself in a generation that has become even more shallow. It saddens me that personalities look so great on pictures but in real-life just suck. What happened to authenticity behind pictures and in real-life? 

All I care about is being genuine and being confident enough to show that the world through your actions and not through pictures. I care about real art and pictures that motivate and send positivity out into the world. Hence, I don't curr about having to see your face every day and you trying to make your face look inspirational just cause you added some inspirational BS as a caption. 

d.f.t.s,

Ezzy

30 DAY CHALLENGE - All the Rest of the Days 23 - 27

If I could be a cartoon character, I would most probably be... Lizzie McGuire's cartoon. The reason would be because that character would just describe any day in my life. The times when something embarrassing happens to me, when I fangirl with my best friend about our crushes and just completely be a teenage (feeling) girly girl. My days would be filled with any day to day life situations. But mostly with awkward and embarrassing situations since my character would never know how to cope with those situations which would automatically make them funny. I wish to be a funny yet relatable cartoon character.

Regarding this situation, I'm still very annoyed. I haven't been sleeping well or enough the past days and I have no idea why. Well, I kinda have my theories, but I feel more comfortable not to share those with you :P Anyways, in February, it was a very packed month. They were filled with deadlines, EYC'13 plannings and meetings as well as YFL Missions. However, during the weekend of the EYC'13 Planning, I literally only had about 4hours of sleep from Friday to Sunday. However, my determination to finish writing my Seminarpaper and the determination to plan something awesome for the EYC kept me quite awake. It was a struggle since the worst feeling you can have is being extremely tired, yet you have to keep your brain intact and your eyes open. Through the help of the Holy Spirit I managed to not be as grumpy and mean as usual when I lack sleep. However, towards the end of the planning, I indeed ended up acting like a 4 year old child and also ended up sick. Yet, everything was worth it. I wrote a 'B' on that Seminarpaper and you guys saw the result of this year's European Youth Congress in Vienna.

My worst habit... would probably be procrastinating A LOT and complaining. Ugh, even now I can facepalm myself for being so lazy. And yes, I figured that no one really can keep up with a complainer for a longer period. Hence, I have tried to change my attitude about things that don't work out right away. Instead of complaining I have tried to be more of a do-er instead of a dumpling-er - yes, I just quoted New Girl. But back to the procrastination: yes, it did get me to the very wrong situations. For instance procrastinating to study for exams. Constant struggle and such a hard habit to break. So... I guess I ought to start studying, right?

MISSION: SALZBURG - "Ohne Schmäh, ganz nett, ne"

GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME AND ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD!

Ever since the EYC'13 it was hard keeping up with the YFLs in Salzburg since everyone started getting busy with school, uni and work. However, Kennet and I managed to visit them for a weekend. It is always a great feeling to be in Salzburg. The fresh is air, the town of The Sound of Music is always beautiful and the people are just always welcoming. We never need to worry about starving because the Titas always serve the best food, and a lot of that. 

Besides the food miracle here, seeing how well the Youths grow here is amazing. It's been a long time since we've seen them but they are still on fire. Despite all the obstacles and struggles they face, the never seize to keep their faith and see the Lord in each others eyes. They have a great bond and fellowship with each other just because they know who should be the center in their lives. I enjoy being here because I learn a lot from them as well. Missions are always great. They open your eyes to the most simple but most important things in your life. It is great hearing all their sharings and it is inspiring too because each one of them is so unique. I felt really humbled about a sister who I haven't met before up until the Household who reached out to me because of her struggles. I think it's a beautiful experience to just see the youths grow in trust with you. Of course, that challenges me to be accountable but with the outcome and the visions I have for this area, I am more than willing to continuously live a proper and exemplary life.

30 DAY CHALLANGE - DAY 19 + 20

I kinda skipped DAY 18 because I really had no idea what the challenge was. I didn't understand, so I'll just make you be contented with these entries.

*

1. Travel around the world, or at least visit the well-known places.
2. Study in a different country.
3. Fluently speak French and Tagalog. Maybe add another language such as Norwegian or Dutch.
4. Learn programming on the computer and being able to create something with it.
5. Drive a car. In future, a Range Rover.
6. Learn to dance Contemporary.
7. Write a Screenplay, produce and direct it.
8. Allow myself to enjoy a fancy vacation and treat my friends on that vacation.
9. Being able to buy my parents an all-exclusive vacation. Just for the two of them.
10. Attend the Stubenville Conferences in the States and also attend the World Youth Congresses in the Philippines.
11. Go to the well-known festivals such as Coachella, Glastonbury Festival, etc.
12. Buy a summerhouse by the lake, for my friends and family to stay in while get togethers.
13. Get an internship to one of the globally recognised Media Agencies or News Papers.
14. Write a book.
15. Write a coverage about Pope Francis' Life or other famous and inspiring people.
16. Go to all pilgrimage places in the world.
17. Get married and have kids. 
18. Publish my own magazine - own my self-established Media Company.
19. Go on missions throughout the world to help the poor and/or share the Word of God.
20. Make my parents and family proud.
21. Never stop learning new things. 
22. Read all classic books there are and being able to discuss them with intellectuals.
23. Being able to back-up all my arguments with proof.
24. Do a lot more sports.
25. Travel with only a backpack.

(*Please consider, that this list may vary day to day)

I most probably would go to the Holy Land. Albeit the turbulences within the country itself, I guess as a Christian you have to go there once in your life. It be such a great experience to actually be in the place where all the stories of the Bible took place. But even more, I think the atmosphere in such a historical place would be just too good to be true to experience. I would love that!

30 DAY CHALLENGE - DAY 16 + 17

Well, if ghosts were really real and I don't really want to go further into thinking about their existence because I don't want to risk a sleepless night, I would most likely like to see my ancestors. It would be great seeing my Granddad and my Grandmum and take the chance to meet them. Even though I have heard great things about them I would just love to hear their stories. About how they grew up, how my parents grew up and everything about that. They are the people I look up to although I haven't really spent enough time with them but knowing their stories, just leaves me in awe and proud to know that I had such inspiring and hardworking Grandparents. They've left a huge huge impact in my mum's life and also in the lives of the people who they served. On top of that, I guess the could give me some advice on how life can be made easier. I guess, I'd really like that.

There's not a lot going on in this kitchen where Sarah worked in. She's been working in that Diner for over a year now and nothing much has changed. The customers have always stayed between 20-30 people who were all regulars. Although the working days were very tedious Sarah tried her best to be a good cook. After all that was what she learned from her father. One day she would own this Diner. It would be hers and she would call the shots, no one else. That was her big dream. She has fond memories in this kitchen because during High School she would just hang out with friends and cook for them after school. But she would also dream a lot in these four walls. She has it all planned out and she was excited for the future. However, things have gotten worse ever since her dad fell sick. Now her dream would take a bit of more time since she has to pay the hospital bills and all that. The kitchen, however, will always stay a place to dream in.

30 DAY CHALLENGE - DAY 14 + 15

Well this person grew up listening to Elvis, which doesn't automatically mean she was even born when she started to love his music. Her parents were big fans of Elvis and they had his music play every day. How could she not start loving him as well? However, her love for Elvis wasn't the obsessive kind. She just loved listening to his voice cause it made her feel closer to her parents that have passed away a couple of years ago. That's the reason why she writes Elvis a Valentine's card every year, because she really wants to say thank you to him for inspiring her parents and making them happy.

I'm Jake. I'm 23. And I am accused of murder. People say I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. My family tried to convince the police that I had nothing to do with this case, that I was a good person. My mum cried for me a lot. She knew me. She knew my heart. And she was the only one who believed so. Growing up was hard. I'm not going to talk about the difficulty without money because that was not my issue. I grew up in a wealthy household. I've always had the best of everything. Before my dad passed away the last thing he wanted me to do was to take care of my family and to never forget what he had taught me. Our family worked hard for our fortune and we were very privileged. However, that doesn't mean that the worst thing that can happen to someone couldn't affect us. 

When the murder happened, I really was in the wrong place at the wrong time. One night I walked home from a party. I did have a couple of drinks but I was still very conscious. Suddenly I heard a scream from a nearby side street. I tried to ignore it first because I thought it was just a couple messing around, but the screams didn't stop getting scarier and scarier. The first thing I did was walk back to that side street and saw a guy throwing himself at a girl. Badly enough, I knew who the guy was. We shared the same class together and we had the similar group of friends. I ran towards them and tried to stop him. He was drunk and couldn't even talk properly. The girl was in terror and very scared. I managed to pull him off of her. However, at the same time the girl pulled the trigger on the gun she hid behind herself and before I knew what had happened, she threw the gun on the ground and ran away. Before I could run after her, the police had already pulled in and I was trapped.

30 DAY CHALLENGE - DAY 12 + 13

My favorite day of the week would be SUNDAY, cause SUNDAY IS FUN DAY! 

No, but apart from that I really enjoy Sundays. The moment you wake up, you automatically feel the calmness and that ease. The streets are quiet, not a lot of cars drive around and you just know that your family is waiting in the dining room ready for breakfast. Sunday is also a great day to bond with your family. Starting with going to mass together, having lunch outside and then spending the afternoon in front of the television or napping on the couch. You know that you can stay in your PJs all day long and noone would bother. Sundays are also great days to just hang out with your friends and catch up. Of course everyone dreads the upcoming day but I guess pretty much everyone just ignores that fact and enjoys the day. I love Sundays - The Lord's Day. Sometimes I get the feeling that conversations particularly on that day get deeper and more honest. You tend to reflect on the past week and smile because you've accomplished a lot of things within only days. Sundays are just great!!!

Have you ever seen the 'King of Queens' episode where Doug and Carrie went to their friend's wedding and they had these single-use-cameras on each guest's table? It would be really funny to me if I would come across such pictures. I bet the most hilarious pictures would turn out that way. For instance I could imagine the entourage to just mess around with it and take pictures of themselves mocking all those selfie poses. You would also have to consider that these random pictures you found at Costco are also from random people, in fact strangers. 

30 DAY CHALLENGE - DAY 10 + 11

I want to be remembered as a person with passion, virtues, values and wisdom, that were shining through her writing. I think that's my goal for this life. To be able to use my talents to inspire and to encourage other people to just simply make use of who they are. But just as my mum always keeps on talking about my grandfather's wise words, I would like my sons and daughters also to remember me that way. The way where they pass on wisdom to the next generations. Of course not only wisdom but also my faith. I would want for my family to spread the love for the community and also the love for the Man up there. And of course, that wouldn't only limit itself to my family, of course I would want my loved ones also to experience His greatness. I want to be remembered as a person who worked hard for her achievements, someone who wouldn't let anyone stop her from chasing her dreams. That would be great, just to be remembered like that and to let people know there is hope and that each and everyone can grasp their chances for greatness.

My first childhood pet were hamsters. Just so you know, I am not a huge pet lover and that basically lead to not really taking care of my pet. I would let my parents do that for me. My dad is quite an animal fan. I mean I don't know anyone else apart from my parents who actually enjoy having fishes as pets and caring for them lovingly. I am so bad with pets. The only thing I can do is give them something to eat and drink but actually caring for them wholeheartedly is a challenge. Especially when it comes of small pets. However, I would love to have a dog some day. Even though I know a dog is a huge responsibility and it's a lot more work than only having some guinea pig, I think I would really have to pull myself together to be a good dog owner.

30 DAY CHALLENGE - DAY 9

My favourite childhood toy must have been - boring - Barbies. While my older brother was into matchbox cars, lego and other guy things, I guess, I just went with the flow and played with a lot of Barbies. I always had to have a Ken for my Barbie and of course the Shellys and the male couterpart for Shelly. It was fun for me to create a happy family with mother, father, son and daughter. Sometimes my Barbies had no clothes on and that's where my creativity kicked in. I made them some clothes by sewing patches of leftover fabric my mum used. They weren't 'Project Runway' potentials, but they were good enough to cover Barbie's whole body. But apart from playing with Barbies, I enjoyed playing with Lego as well. I can still remember playdates with my cousine at her place. She had tons of Legos and we would always build villages and whatnot in her room. Those were the times, where TV Shows on Nickelodeon weren't as essential as today. But yeah, in that sense I was pretty much a girly. I can still remember that I tried to put Make-Up on my Dolls, while my aunt, who used to live with us, was at work. I'd always sneak into the room and get some of her Eyeliners and Lipsticks to make my Dolls pretty. However, the dolls turned out really scary in the end. Too much smokey eyes in black wasn't very appealing - especially at night. But I pretty much enjoyed all the Barbie accessories. My mum even bought me a Barbie house along with a Barbie car. I even had this pink briefcase in which I could put all her clothes inside. And the best ever Barbie gift I got was the Spice Girls edition. I got one for my birthday back then and I was so stoked because everyone else had one. While everyone got Baby Spice, I totally wanted to stand out from the crowd and decided to wish for Ginger Spice. Not everybody's favourite but I could relate to her the most, especially body wise. 

It's sad to see that kids nowadays do not wish for toys that much anymore. They'd rather get a cellphone or even worse - a tablet/iPad with games on it. Where has the fantasy in their heads gone? While the past generations kept on playing pretence-games and household games, kids these days would rather stay at home in front of the TV or Computer. Yes, time changes, it's inevitable. It's just sad how everything develops over time. I just wish more people would encourage the kids to go out and play, enjoying our nature and try to make up a game that doesn't require any technological gadgets. 

30 DAY CHALLENGE - DAY 8

Esther-Marie, or how most people call her, Babsie, is a 4'11 filipino girl living in Vienna, Austria. The first time I met her, she was very kind yet very shy. She hardly spoke another sentence with me after she introduced herself to me. That felt strange because it gave me the feeling as if she didn't care at all. So before I made the effort to actually get to know her, I just observed her. I figured she was the kind of person that would rather hang out with a book than actually hang out with a group of people. But the moment she had to talk in front of people, she did really well. She had a lot of knowledge about all sort of things and that made sense cause she was always with a book in her hand. Anyways, when time had passed I kind of lost interest in getting to know her more because quite frankly, I wouldn't know what to talk to her about. Besides, the other crowd was so much more fun hanging out with and I didn't feel like using up my time to take care of an outcast.

Another few years had passed and suddenly I found her hanging out with the bunch of people I hang out with. She was so different. It just felt like she came out of her shell. She was still shy, but she would talk a lot more with you than actually just leave it at 'Hi, my name is Esther'. That was the time when I got to know her a lot more. Before I even started to talk to her properly, I actually just kept on observing and I realised she had a huge heart for doing service for the community. Later, she also told me that it was the community and the people who made an effort for her, made her come out of her shell and comfort zone. And she also apologised for not making an effort back then to actually join me and my friends at some activities. She explained that she was very shy and that she didn't really feel comfortable around us. But she was happy that it changed. She also explained that it takes her a bit more time than usual to open up to people because she's been disappointed a lot in the past. At that time when we grew close she confessed, that her supposed-to-be friend left her for more popular people in school which made her feel even worse about herself. That's why she was very careful with who to trust and who to open up to. I felt quite honoured to be a person she trusted. I also learned that she was quite an introvert due to the fact that she wasn't really outgoing since her parents were quite strict and she had to babysit her younger siblings. It amazes me how well she handled three younger siblings even though she could have rebelled against her parents and made them let her hang out with her friends. "Nah, there was no reason for rebelling out at that time. I didn't have a lot of friends anyways and the few ones I had, understood my circumstances," she told me.

30 DAY CHALLENGE - DAY 7

What a question *phew*. I guess questions about your own person always are the hardest to answer. But given the challenge, I will do my best to answer this question as good and as honest as possible.

Picture: John Kennet Ponti ©

Just when I think back, I have always felt different from the crowd, different from everyone else. Ever since middle school up til now. That would basically answer the reason for my social awkwardness with people I get to know and my mute behaviour amongst a group. But I guess what has always set me apart from the crowd I hung out with was, that I grew up in a big family. For my readers who do not know me that well yet, I have four siblings and I'm the second eldest. It was hard growing up and having to learn to be responsible at a very early age. In the beginning I really had to sacrifice my 'teenage' years, which supposedly have to be the most exciting years and the time you get to experience a lot of new things, for my siblings. So, I spent most of my spare time at home watching the kids. You'd get a lot of 'No I can't. Watching the kids' replies to hangout sessions with friends. Now thinking back, I guess that's the reason I developed into an introverted and, back then, to a pretty serious person. However, I do not regret anything of that because I knew that I helped out my parents a lot throughout the years. And I'm glad my parents trusted me a lot in the upbringing of the kids, especially the youngest one.

30 DAY CHALLENGE - DAY 5 + DAY 6

Letter B:
butter - bananas - bread - beef - burgers - blueberries - blackberries

That person, due to the very humble list of things to buy, is on a diet. They would only buy this items for a whole month. That person found this new diet in a magazine and they are super convinced that it would work this time round. Of course, as we all know diets aren't really the real deal. A healthy diet, however, is much better than only limiting oneself on a couple of foods. That person, as you might have already figured, has some body image issues. They jumped from one diet to another and instead of losing some pounds, they gained them all over again. Talking about a healthy life... that sure ain't one. 

#NOTETOSELF: TO LOVE AT ALL IS...

Work in progress...

Picture: http://maxcdn.zenpencils.com/comics/2013-02-12-lewis.jpg 

C.S. Lewis (1898-1963) was an Irish author most famous for the Chronicles of Narnia series. He was also a noted poet, critic and served as professor of English Literature at Oxford for 29 years. An atheist as a young man, Lewis would later would find his faith and go on to become one of the most important Christian authors of the 20th Century. I loved the Narnia books as a child and it’s interesting to find out now that the plot and characters were inspired by the Bible. Aslan was Jesus? Cool. Maybe if they recited the Narnia books in Church I would have paid more attention.

The full version of this quote, taken from Lewis’s book, The Four Loves, reads:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”

(this entry was taken from: http://zenpencils.com/comic/103-c-s-lewis-to-love-at-all/)

30 DAY CHALLENGE - DAY 4

A woman was talking to an insurance agent:

"So, I started this journey and I get sick a lot, lose way too many precious things along the way and most of the time I wish I could just return and get a refund or start the journey over. I knew that a lot of unexpected things might happen on this journey and I was more than prepared for each and every surprise. People told me before that this and that may happen but they never advised me on how to handle situations. I've always been eager to just get out there and experience new things. Regardless how scary they were, I knew I'd learn a lot along the way. How exciting new adventures and new experiences were to me. I just wanted to get out, get out of my comfort zone - because I knew I was prepared for them. That's what I thought of myself. Truth be told, I wasn't prepared at all. All I did was going with the flow. I did what I was told to do by my friends, by my parents and by my loved one. 

Never in that second I thought of what I wanted because they've been there and have done that. The roads were rough but I always managed to make it through. I wasn't on that journey alone, you see. I had loyal companions who always motivated me to move on, to continue that road when I was tired and to get my butt up when I've lingered on one spot for too long. I did my very best on that journey and I can say, I've seen a lot and met a lot of great people as well. I've seen the beauty of small cities and also got to learn to appreciate their totally hospitable inhabitants. They were all so nice and welcoming. It was a great visit and I felt I belonged somewhere and it felt pretty good. I knew that at some point in my life I would go back there and maybe start a future in that city. Just how it is when you're on a journey, you enter a new stage. In the beginning everything went great and I couldn't help myself but gush over all the new impressions. However, things started to change a bit. My friends and family have always warned me about it. I always laughed it off because I knew I would never find myself in such a situation. Since you cannot control everything, I suddenly found myself in exactly this situation.

30 DAY CHALLENGE - DAY 3

Due some Internet problems, I couldn't upload Day 3, so I will be posting up Day 3 + 4 today!

The only situation that I can recall was having to call a brother out because of his love issues. For the people who know me, I tend to overreact quickly and when I have to say things, then they have to be said. So, in this situation I just tried to give some advice to a close friend of mine who was struggling with his feelings for another person. In my eyes, their opinion about their situation wasn't a good enough explanation to me, so I just had to lay my arguments and opinions all out there, regardless how much I'd hurt them. I argued that their feelings weren't real and just pure infatuation and that it wasn't love at all. Of course, for someone who has feeling for someone else, it is quite hurtful to hear all these things from a friend you think you had your support. Hence, I always seem to put my foot in my mouth when I need to be completely honest with someone. It's not on purpose being a kill joy but sometimes I just think that a dear friend who I totally appreciate and think highly of also needs to feel that same level of honesty, truth and lookout from me. After that conversation with my friend, I of course got the silent treatment for a couple of days up until I apologised and they told me that they understood what I was telling them, although they never thought I'd be so harsh on them. For the people who know me, I'm harsh when it comes to looking out for my loved ones. I don't sugarcoat anything! However, I completely understand as well that I cannot treat people like that on a regular basis. I've learnt to let them grow on their own and that all they need is my support. Whenever the time comes again, where I have to be completely frank again, I realised I need to watch my words and watch the other person's feelings. So, who ever I've hurt with my frank tongue, I truly apologise.

30 DAY CHALLENGE - DAY 2

Lara had always written in Journal ever since she got one for her thirteenth birthday. She would record each and every event or feeling into her little pink book. The color of her journal wasn't really to her liking, that's why she covered the princesses, stars and hearts with a bunch of stickers of her favorite band. She loved all these British bands. Starting from The Kooks to Arctic Monkeys. Lara never liked to be in the center of attention and that's what she wrote most about in her journal. She wrote a lot about her struggles in her family where each of her three siblings had a great talent except her. The older Lara got the more she found out that writing had always been her talent. Even when at sixteen writing in your diary wasn't really age-conform, she still wrote down everything. The most exciting phase in her life started - liking boys. Lara who always rather did what the other boys did such as playing in the dirt or talking about skateboards, found it rather weird that she suddenly couldn't get her eyes off of this one guy in school. Of course every girl was in love with him because he was the most popular guy in school, but Lara wrote all her daydreams into that diary she got when she was thirteen. By the time Lara graduated, she has moved on to another journal. It was a black moleskin journal and she insisted on having a moleskin journal because she felt more grown-up with it. When it was time to move out of the house to go to college, she wanted to bring all her existing journals just to have something that reminded her of home. However, the most precious one was no where to be found. She looked everywhere, in the attic, in the basement and even buddle up her little box in the garden which she buried with her siblings when she was four years old. It broke Lara's heart that she couldn't find her first ever journal. The journal that inspired her to write down everything that she experienced. With the lost journal, she felt like she lost a lot of dear memories and also great life lessons. Not knowing where it had gone was the worst feeling. Lara hoped her journal didn't get in the wrong hands with the idea of exposing her. But deep inside, she knew that it was still near and that maybe it was not her who was meant to find it.