AN OPEN LETTER TO MY MUM

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Dear Mother,

I am 100% sure that you won't be able to read this yet I hope that some day you will come across this.
Today is mother's day and I know I haven't really shown you my appreciation for you over the past couple of weeks. Sometimes it is hard being your daughter and trying to live up to all of your expecations but I know that you truly want the best for us. Just as hard it is being your daughter I am also very proud to be yours. You taught us how to work hard, not to take things for granted and always to turn to God if ever we had struggles. I know I have held grudges against you over the time but I don't want that because I have that much love and respect for you. You are the strongest woman I know and just how it should be, I want to be like you one day.
You truly the number one person I look up to excluding all celebrities :P
I know I am a drag and not very pleasant at the moment but that is just because I grow up too and I know you don't really like to admit it but you are scared of that. And I know you are constantly worried about our future but let me tell you this again, you have raised us and brought us up in a very good way and you can trust us not messing up the times ahead of us. People do not really understand your views sometimes but you don't care because you're confident that that is the right thing to do and  I really appreciate that and it really does impress me. You have gone so much since you've been 5 years old and the woman that you have become is just amazing. I can't thank God enough for having you as my mother because also if I mess up, and I did quite a few times, I know I got your back. It hurts to see you being hurt that's why I don't want to cause more problems than I already have. I can't wait for my kids to have you as a Grandma because I know that they will learn a lot from you. They will be as inspired as I am and I hope that I get all the traits that you have as a loving mother.
You are truly a superwoman, balancing a 40h a week job and 5 children and a husband. You are the brains in the family as well as the queen! You keep motivating us, show us how much you care and keep us all together!

I LOVE YOU, MATTUSHKA!

Happy Mother's Day!

=] <3 don't forget to smile

Love, your daughter.

WHAT THE FACEBOOK TIMELINE TAUGHT ME

I have always been quite a hater of FB's new timeline but now that I have gotten used to it, it isn't that terrible anymore. Besides, I figured out how social I used to be when everything started. I used to be in touch with the most random people but it is always nice to catch up with people you have known for a long time. It has been pretty silly of me to sort of narrowing my comfort zone even more by only hanging out with the same people. Of course, they are my very best friends but with the freedom they give me to hang out with other people, why don't I just take the chance and do so?
And I myself felt that something was missing. Especially when it came to broaden my interest horizons.
I was a fool and I want to apologise to everyone who I hurt with my stupidity and selfishness. Trying my best to make it up to you guys in this very minute... or better when my FB stops acting up.
So yeah, I do want to thank Mark Zuckerberg for the realisation that I have been quite a divajerk the past couple of years! But with that realisation I think I will hit some people up that I know are worth the effort!

I remain with a sunny day and
=] <3 don't forget to smile.

WARUM MICH FACEBOOK IN LETZTER ZEIT NERVT!

Ich hab schon seit einiger Zeit keinen deutschen Text mehr verfasst und bitte im Vorhinein schon, um Verständnis, wenn Satzbau-, Ausdrucks-, Grammatik- sowie Rechtsschreibfehler aufkommen.

Picture: http://www.fahrschule-vatterodt.de/images/social_network.jpg

Ich kann von mir aus gestehen, dass Facebook ein Teil meines alltäglichen Lebens ist. Es muss einfach sein, dass ich ein Mal am Tag auf der Seite sein muss! Aber, in letzter Zeit hat sich diese Angewohnheit ein bisschen verbessert, da ich weder stalke (wer tut das nicht?!) noch mich mit dem Leben anderer auseinandersetze und mir Facebook ganz einfach zu langweilig geworden ist. Jedoch kann man dem lieben alten News Feed nicht entkommen und aus dem Grund findet man oft Dinge beziehungsweise sieht man Dinge, mit denen man nicht einverstanden ist und sich denkt, weshalb diese Person gewisse Dinge einfach ohne Hemmungen postet. 

Deswegen nervt mich Facebook in letzter Zeit einfach, weil einige Personen einfach nur die Aufmerksamkeit anderer auf sich ziehen wollen. Man wird durch dreißigtausend Posts am Tag nicht beliebter! Sie nerven einfach!! Wieso sollte man erfreut sein, wenn man das gleiche Profilbild einer Person bei jedem zweiten Post auf seinem News Feed sieht?! Es nervt und mir ist es genauso egal, wie viele Leute du kennst oder dich mögen! Mich imponierst du damit jedenfalls nicht! Me no gusta!

Dann macht es mich traurig zu sehen, wie vielen Minderjährigen die Integrität fehlt, wenn sie gewisse Dinge auf ihrem Status schreiben, oder auch einfach wie sie miteinander kommunizieren. Klar, jeder hat so seine Insider, aber es kann gerade in einen öffentlichen Forum wie Facebook falsch verstanden werden. Und man selbst merkt nicht wie viel andere darüber reden.Viele wissen eigentlich gar nicht, wie sehr sie der Öffentlichkeit ausgesetzt sind und wundern sich im Nachhinein auch, weshalb die beiläufigsten Leute Dinge über ihr Leben wissen. Besonders für Leute, die sich eine Karriere aufbauen wollen, sollten auf solche unnötigen Aussagen oder Konversationen verzichten, denn keiner weiß, inwiefern sich dein zukünftiger Arbeitgeber mit deinem Profil auseinandersetzten wird.

Weiters sollte man sich gerade in solch einem Forum überlegen, wie viel man von sich und seiner Privatsphäre hergeben bzw. herzeigen will. Private Dinge werden von vielen, ja gar von allen, lieber privat gesehen als öffentlich und außerdem macht die Freiwilligkeit, jeden (auch wenn man kaum mit der Person etwas zu tun hat) ein Teil seines Alltags zu sein, nicht wirklich einen guten Eindruck. Es gibt nur eine Familie, die Kardashian heißt und es gibt nur eine Reality Show die Jersey Shore oder The Real World heißt. Außerdem interessiert es keinen was manche Leute so im Alltag treiben, denn nicht einmal sie machen es den Nachrichtenfaktoren gerecht und sind publizitätswürdig. 

Was ist damit passiert Facebook als Platform zu benützen, um mit Leuten in Kontakt zu bleiben, die man nicht jeden Tag sieht? Was ist damit passiert, relevante Themen und weiterbildende Themen zu teilen anstatt irgendwelche unnötigen Dinge, die leider selbst für mich zu amüsant sind? 

Es sind ja nicht nur die Leute nervig, die überdreht Dinge von sich posten, aber oft weiß man nicht, wie interessant man für manch anderer Personen sind, die fast jedes einzelne Detail von deinem Leben durch dein Facebook-Profil herauskratzen wollen! Die sind ja die ärgsten-im-Hintergrund-lauernden-Raubtiere! Ich, solchen Fällen, bin ich da noch recht altmodisch und wahrscheinlich zu menschlich für euch, denn mir taugt eher die genuine und traditionelle Weise eine Konversation zu führen und sich so kennenzulernen, als mich durch andere Leute Informationen über die oder den zu holen und dann noch hinzusätzlich auf Facebook zu schauen. 

Mir ist klar, dass die Welt technologischer wird, aber Mensch zu sein? Ist das zu viel verlangt einfach normal zu sein und trotzdem noch altmodische Gesten zu machen? 

Jedenfalls, to recap everything, Facebook ist nervig geworden und die Leute, die süchteln, ebenfalls.

Tut mir leid, wenn sich wer angesprochen fühlt, oder auch nicht?! Jedenfalls habt ihr nun ne kleine Ahnung, was eure Posts so in einem Hirn eines Mädchens, wie mir, ausmachen kann!

Weniger ist mehr, Leidln, weniger ist mehr!

=] <3 don't forget to smile.

Ezzy

I AM THAT GIRL: My Own Author By Alexis Jones

I've just stumbled upon this great article about staying true to who you are regardless what society expects from you. In this world it is hard to be who you are because we often fear rejection and judgments not only from other people but mostly from our loved ones. This article is trying to convince us, that we need to continue fighting for what we believe in and mostly staying who we really are. Enjoy! It definitely is worth a read!

Picture: tumblr.com

 It’s not just our body image that we struggle with in life. Whether we are too curvy, too thin, too tall, too short, too tan or too pale; it’s easy to recognize the narrow definition of beauty that makes us all feel chronically insecure. I had a conversation in the car with my best friend recently, and it dawned on me that these unoriginal molds, silent expectations and paradigm influencers go much deeper than us merely comparing ourselves to unrealistic, unattainable, airbrushed perfection.

In one little word, an entire world of limitation exists — should. All the things we think we “should” do serve as a form of internal incarceration. Although I’m not necessarily proud of this fact, I am a “people-pleasing perfectionist.” I want to be liked by everyone, even you as you read this blog. On top of this impossible and challenging mission, I want to do everything perfectly and anything that falls short of that insane expectation is fair game for the Simon Cowell critic in my brain who tries to convince me that I’m not good enough. Somewhere along my life’s journey, I was convinced that perfection and pleasing were noble and desirable pursuits. I have actually set myself up for misery, failure and unimaginable disappointment.

In the world of “should,” there is no room to be real, honest or vulnerable. In a world of “should,” we live by everyone else’s invisible rules. We are governed by expectations most of us created when we were kids from the kind of person we marry to the car we drive. What I’ve come to realize is that when we allow ourselves to be on autopilot, we hand over our pen to someone else and ask them to author our lives, taking a backseat to their rules and slip comfortably into their mold for our lives.
I certainly am not impervious to the pressures and expectations that influence my life, but at least I’m aware that they exist. My insatiable desire to be liked and to pursue perfection at all costs has and continues to produce an inauthentic projection of who I want people to think I am. The true definition of empowerment is the mere recognition of choice and that is where I now choose to live. Not in a world of “supposed to,” but in a world of questioning what I think, feel, want and need. Only in that space, am I granted permission to think for myself, to assign my own meaning, to date a guy who’s “not my type,” to be open to possibilities and pencil my own mind-blowing adventure story. 

I’ve been a rebel my whole life, never fitting in and always asking why. The poet E.E. Cummings perfectly articulated life’s greatest challenge when he wrote, “To be nobody but yourself in a world that’s doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.” My challenge for you, for me, for all us is to fight to make your own decisions in life, to create your own rules and write your own personal constitution, only ever looking for your own approval.
We are infinitely unique and when we stand confidently on our own two feet, we enter into a reservoir of unfathomable power, unconditional love, creativity, honesty and passion. Whatever you are seeking already exists within you; the answer, wisdom, eloquence and truth you desire are all inherently yours. So take a deep breath with pen in hand, and write your story.

Source: http://www.iamthatgirl.com/2012/02/27/my-own-author-by-alexis-jones/ by Alexis Jones

=] <3 don't forget to smile.
Ezzy

Mhhhh... rant... tension

Picture: tumblr.com

So, just yesterday I had a very big exam to write and I am pretty tensed about the results. Things would really get complicated if I don't pass the exam so I am really hoping and praying for the best. February will be quite an eventful month for me. I'll be having vacation, my little brother turns 8 and my BFF will also finally get her number two in her age. Besides all these events, I just hope that February will treat us all well. I can't wait to see all my friends again, since I haven't seen them in a long time due to exam preparations. Although the girls and I update each other every day, we kinda do miss each other... only a little bit.
Who ever follows me on instagram or twitter or is my friend on FB knows that I'm pretty much a nerd lately. Not in the sense of study nerdy but more PS3-kinda-nerdy. It started out with Call of Duty - Black Ops and has now evolved into NBA2K11. It's not like I've gotten addicted to it but it's more a complementary activity besides being on the net the whole day since you cannot really go out in such a cold weather. Who would've thought that VTown reaches somewhat -11°C this winter? I just hope that spring won't keep us waiting too long. I need that warm weather back!!

Anyways... I hope you still enjoyed reading my little rant and update. As soon as I got a grip on my life again, meaning when my life is more eventful, I will sure update my blogs regularly and let you guys know, what I've been up to these days!

Thanks for reading and
=] <3 don't forget to smile.
Ezzy